screwed up

2.45 in the morning and i'm still awake.
yap. pathetic.

if i were someone else, i would definetely yell at my damn pathetic self: "GET A LIFE, PLEASE!" right away at this very time.

been watching grey's anatomy 2nd season all nite, get emotional just by watching the drama between Mr. McDreamy, the Mistress, and the Satanic Wife. zzzz like i have no life of my own.

i screwed my obsession, and make it worse by watching the doctors in grey's anatomy doing all the surgeries, wearing those uniforms, speaking the medical language. ahh dammit!

i was like obsessed to be a doctor. like i didn't know what i want to be but be a doctor. and i was damn good at biology, i tried so hard, and i tried my best.

yah, but we're all humans, rite? we do the plan, God do the decision.

maybe it's not my destiny to be a doctor.
maybe i will have much much better life in this way.
maybe i will have much much better job in my future

but the thing is, i don't know what i want to be now.
i don't know what life will i have then
i don't know what kind of job will i do then

some people say that you just have to let it flow, well since there are no options for me to choose what to do now, maybe they're right

maybe i just have to let it flow.